Written a few days before Christmas:
I sit here behind the screen at Starbucks. It's called "the library." It actually is peopled by customers who are intent on computers and other devices, which seems to have formed a contemplative mood - or at least thoughtful, puzzling something out, trying to make sense of a problem..
I sit, somewhat distracted, sipping coffee, disappointed that I'm not at the gym, rowing; breathing, walking, lifting, balancing - the things I had so hoped to do today after my pastoral visit with a dear friend, followed by a haircut.
"If you're tired, rest at Starbucks, or just come home," Molly had said. I said I would if I needed to. I didn't expect to need to. "I'll be alright. It's exercise I need."
But Margie for Hair said, "Be careful as you go, Arthur. You seem a little wobbly."
It was hard to be honest, and just say, "I am wobbling. I have feelings of vertigo. It came on after I arose this morning. It's still there. I've done the standard exercises. I'm better, but not quite over it. My better judgement does say, "Go home. Rest. Lay your head down, even if it's for a couple of hours." So, I'll do that.
The struggle to take care. To attend to the body, and so, the spirit. It is good to be quiet here. To pray. To read the Bible. To re-underline my Christmas sermon.
The days pass slowly. But, I am aware that in each one, I am preparing for Christmas Day. Resting enough. Recouping strength. Slowly preparing my heart and soul for Christmas Day.
I read through the message I believe I was given, "Jesus and the Great Return!" On the Second Coming. The End Times.
I raise the questions. But mostly affirm the answers Jesus Himself gives, and the prophesies He affirms. It leads us into an arena of great wonder and mystery.
"At that time," Jesus says, "You will see the Son of Man coming in the clouds, with power and great glory." Oh, what a wonder. I'm trying to sink my soul into it, and pray God will use the message for good, to those friends - few or many - who will come.
Arthur A Rouner, Jr -
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