Waiting. Waiting. Wanting others to move quickly, to help you. Thinking about yourself. About your life. And current things in your life.
Getting nervous. Not quite in control. Not quite your old self. Because there's something important about your life that you don't know. But a young hematology oncologist does know. He's read your PET scan of four days ago. He knows what those strange photos in the Nuclear Department of the hospital have shown about what your blood is doing. You know that the quiescent period of several years of this new health adventure is over, and that the sudden swellings in your neck and armpits declare that the lymph system is under attack.
The young, likable doctor knows now lots about you that you don't know. He doesn't realize how much you want to know it, too, and to find out the treatment and get on with it.
He has other patients to think about, and care about. Sicker than you. Maybe more gravely threatened than you.
You're getting selfish. You're putting yourself forward as #1, the way 21st Century American culture teaches you to do.
It's time for second thoughts. For slowing down and stepping back. And remembering who you are, and WHOSE you are. That you're in your Creator's hands. That He loves you and won't let you go.
And, would you believe it? Just as that thought comes, just as you take that step back and remember who you are and that Christian humility calls you to be patient, and to wait, the phone rings. It may not be "Godot." Better than that, you know it's the Lord Who loves you and holds your life in the hollow of His hands. He is on the phone under the guise of a woman named Betsy, the young doctor's nurse. She's heard my phone message. She knows I'm waiting and so wanting answers. "The doctor's out today. We hope he'll give us information tomorrow for us to send to you, to let you know the news."
The Angel Betsy was letting me know all she could. Between the lines she was saying, "Peace Arthur, be still. We care about you. Don't worry."
I thanked her. And when I said instinctively, "Bless you," there was a catch in her breath - a blessing back to me.
So, I wait. Not for "Godot." but for the good God Himself to let me know, and lead me on, in peace.
How swiftly the messages come, in life. How sure are the Hands that hold us. How safe we are in His good grip.
Bless you, friends.
Arthur A Rouner, Jr -
|Arthur Rouner Ministries||
ARTHUR ROUNER MINISTRIES